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Final Fantasy and all characters are property of Squarenix, Inc. Please do not reprint story without author's permission. lordofmerentha@yahoo.com Gunpowder and Firecrackers I. Tifa "Good morning, Strife Delivery Service. We deliver anywhere. How may I help you?" The man on the other end of the phone wanted to send a shipment from Edge to Gold Saucer. Tifa gave him the quotes, told him that the service would take three days and the messenger would be available the day after tomorrow. The eight-year old speakerphone crackled and hissed, and she could barely hear him over the sound of the static. The doorbell rang. "Please hold," she told the customer, and went to answer the door. It was Rude with a bouquet of flowers. For a moment she stood blinking up at the tall man standing in her doorway politely, doffing his hat to her and waiting for her permission to enter as if he did not have a key to the house. "Hello, beautiful," he said. "I had a few days of travel time. I thought I would come see you on the way." Tifa was flattered, taking the flowers and standing on tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek. "You're so thoughtful," she said. "Come on in. Marlene and Denzel are away on deliveries, but-" "I also came to take you out to dinner," he interrupted, bending down to remove his shoes. "If you'd like to join me, that is." "I'd love to," she told him sincerely. "Let me take care of this call and I'll be right back." She hashed out the rates with the man on the other end of the line, rang off, jotted a note to Denzel when he got back tomorrow about the Gold Saucer delivery, and stuck it on the refrigerator. She looked down at herself, dressed in sweats, a dirty apron and tattered house slippers, hair bound in a messy bun at the nape of her neck. There was time for a quick shower before dinner, she decided. She turned to exit the room and her eye caught the picture on the desk by the door, standing guard over a pile of old receipts, deliver confirmations, to-be-filed reports. The faded photo showed Cloud, one arm around Tifa's shoulders, one of his rare smiles on his face, Marlene and Denzel as children grinning happily in the foreground with the bright lights of Gold Saucer as backdrop. She picked up the photo, brushing dust off the frame. She should have put this one away, just like she'd put the rest of the pictures away eight years ago when Cloud had disappeared, but this was the only one they'd had of the four of them. It was as if putting that picture away would destroy the family they'd almost built together. She reached out a finger, tracing the familiar outlines of his face. The dreams still haunted her sometimes, dreams that insisted that Cloud could not be dead, though the practical part of her rejected that, knew she had to go on living like Cloud would have wanted her to. I'm not one of those people who'll die quietly in bed, he'd told her some time ago, after Sephiroth, after Kadaj, when she had expressed hope that now life would settle down. I don't want to hurt you any more, Tifa. "Tifa?" She put the picture down guiltily, but knew that Rude had seen. He'd taken off the sunglasses and his eyes flicked to the picture, back to her. "If you're not feeling well," he said, "we don't have to-" "I'm fine," she told him quietly, going to him and feeling his arms wrap around her with a gentleness that she'd never felt in Cloud's embrace. Cloud's love for her had been passionate, demanding, always with an intensity that spoke of his fear that their time was running out, even though the war was just a memory now. When he'd finally told her loved her, two years after facing down Sephiroth again, the expression on his face had almost broken her heart. What'll it be? A memory, or us? Rude had never told her that he loved her. His feelings were as soft-spoken as everything about him, as if he sensed the barrier Tifa had erected around herself after Cloud's disappearance. Her first priority was Marlene and Denzel, she told him, and everything else was secondary to the children's happiness. Rude said he understood. She knew he did, as much as he was able, and she was grateful for that. He wasn't Cloud, but Cloud could not be replaced, just like Aeris could not be replaced. He took her out to a nice restaurant in the heart of New Midgar, in one of the districts that had sprung up with the rebuilding effort. Rufus and Green Earth had been behind that too, one of his efforts to reach power back into Edge and the New Midgar area, though he'd actually scrapped any plans of building a new branch in Midgar itself. "People would be nervous," Rude had said. "They don't want another Shinra." The less Tifa saw of Rufus the better, but she did admit that his money and flair for style had produced some breathtaking results for the Midgar skyline. The heart of the city had come a long way since their escape from the Shinra building years ago. The ruined square had been rebuilt, the slums torn down and neat rows of public housing put up, the central plaza turned into a glittering spectacle of glass and metal and sparkling lights over the large, green park in the place where Shinra's headquarters had been. Rude ordered for them, splurging for a three course dinner of roasted duck and greens and chocolate fudge cake for dessert. She had a glass of wine. They talked about lighthearted things, like Reeve and Cid's joint airship business that was doing so well that they were considering expanding down south. Barret's new oil company, now working hand in hand with Green Earth, though apparently Barret was sick of the corporate life now and was considering retiring and going on a long vacation. Reno's girlfriend, two years older than him, an Icicle girl and Green Earth's director of outreach, who complained that Corel was too hot and smelled like fungus. What fungus? Tifa said. I think it smells like sulfur. Elena, Rude said, had been promoted to head of Green Earth security and Tseng had taken over Green Earth's financial programs. Tifa seemed to remember something about them dating, but when she asked Rude, he shook his head, said there had never been too much to that. Everyone was too busy. Just like me, Tifa thought, knowing deep in her heart that it was not quite the truth, that she kept herself busy in order to avoid thinking too hard. Perhaps it was that way with all of them, too, even Reeve and Cid. "Are you staying for a few days?" she asked Rude, and he shook his head with a smile. "I'm on my way to Wutai in the morning. I owe the lady a favor." Tifa raised one eyebrow. "What could Yuffie possibly have done for you to owe her a favor?" "She lent us some money," Rude said. "And keeps sending nagging notes reminding us that read, and I quote, 'You lazy asses owe me big time.' " Tifa couldn't help it. She laughed. Rude smiled as well, lifting his glass of wine into the air in a slight toast. "To friends," he said. "To friends," she responded, and for a moment she felt all the strain of life melt away - the strain of running someone else's business, raising two teenagers, still mourning for the man she had lost. It was just her and Rude and the Midgar skyline with promises of things to come. The sweet, tangy wine burned its way down her throat, and for a moment she wished she had the guts to ask Rude to stay the night. But Marlene would be home, and she'd traded in Cloud's queen-sized bed and downgraded back to a twin so she had room to fit some of the delivery's file cabinets in a corner of what had been their master bedroom, and Rude was leaving early in the morning. And besides, she did not want their relationship to degenerate into nights of sex and mornings-after. After eight years of letters, long-distance calls, monthly visits, late-night talks and vacations together, Tifa had realized that she did not love him like he wanted her to love him. Rude seemed oblivious to her wandering train of thought, sipping his wine slowly and looking out at Midgar. "It's quite beautiful," he said. "Thanks to Green Earth and Rufus," she said. "I know I give you a hard time, but I suppose even he has a good side." "You still don't trust him." She folded her hands in front of her and set the wine down. "It's not that I don't trust him," she said slowly. "It's just that...I can't quite believe the man who willingly let the Planet go down a course of destruction has really had such a change of heart as to want to single-handedly rebuild it for the good of the people." "We were on the same side, in part," Rude reminded her. "Both of our groups wanted Sephiroth gone." "Only a sadistic madman would have wanted to let Sephiroth go, and my opinion of Rufus isn't that low," she said. "Sorry, but could we not talk about this over dinner?" "I apologize," Rude said, and drained the last of his wine. "Would you like some more dessert?" "I'm full, thank you." She pushed the plate away from her and wiped her mouth. "Shouldn't you be getting back to your hotel? It's late." He glanced at her. "Trying to get rid of me?" Tifa felt her cheeks flush. "It's a long trip to Wutai, even by airship." "I have something for you," he said abruptly. Her eyes darted from the luminous Midgar skyline back to him, surprised. He reached down into one pants pocket, fumbling for something nervously. Rude, nervous? "Take this," he said. "Please." It was a small box, just the right size for a ring. She took it with shaking hands, her stomach in knots as she opened it, already knowing what she'd find inside. The diamonds sparkled in the low lights of the restaurant and she carefully lifted the ring from where it was nestled inside the silk folds, trying to find the words to say and failing. "It might seem a bit sudden," Rude said hesitantly. He sounded tinny, far away. "But I've been thinking about this for a while, Tifa. It's hard for us to see each other, but there's no other woman I want to be with. I wouldn't ask you to leave Midgar, or the business, or Marlene and Denzel. We could work something out. I don't know. But it's been almost eight years, a long time. I don't want you to be sad anymore. I've wanted to ask you many times, but I was afraid you would say no. I just...well." He stopped, as if realizing that he was rambling. She'd never heard him sound so out of control, unsure of himself, like a child. "Rude," she said softly, cradling the ring and the box in her hands. "Rude, I don't know if-" "It's all right if you don't think it'll work out," he said hurriedly, cutting her off. "I just decided I had to do what I had to do, and I couldn't wait any longer. I've been carrying that thing around for a year now, can you believe it? I just couldn't work up the nerve." There was nothing she could say to that naked confession. She'd always thought that when the day came, Cloud's face would flash before her eyes and she would hear his voice in her mind, accusing her of forgetting him. But there was nothing, just a faint regret that things had not worked out the way both of them wanted them to. Cloud was dead, and Rude was here now before her, promising her safety, a way out of the black hole of the delivery business, finally a father figure for Denzel and an extra security blanket for Marlene if something ever happened to Barret. I can't save anyone, Cloud had said, and she'd heard the unspoken words behind that confession. I have no right to. I can't even save myself. "It's all right, Rude," she said. "It's fine. I accept." He was silent, and she thought that her curt response had hurt his feelings. But when she looked up at him, he was staring at her with a stunned sort of smile. "You'll marry me?" A memory did flash before her eyes then, that night when Marlene and Denzel had been captured by Kadaj and Cloud had begged Rude and Reno to go save her in his place. She'd confronted him then, accused him of running away. It was time for her to stop running. "Yes, Rude," she said, slipping the ring onto her finger. "I will." -- She had wondered afterwards if Rude would ask to come in when they arrived back at the silent house. But he simply kissed her goodnight on the front steps, promising to call when he reached Wutai, and she had clung to him a minute, wishing him a safe journey there and back to Corel. She had lain there in bed for a long time, tossing and turning, unable to sleep. Her dreams that night were plagued by a nightmare she had not had in a long time - the reactor at Nibelheim, and Sephiroth. The incessant ringing of the phone woke her the next morning, and it was only when she rolled over and glanced sleepily at the clock that she realized she had overslept. She tangled one foot in the bed sheets, gave up and dragged them over with her to the phone on the edge of the desk. "Hello?" she croaked. "Tifa! Hey girl, congratulations! Heard the news!" She blinked, confused. "News?" "You and Rude? Man, never thought that guy would actually dig up the guts to ask you. He ordered that ring a year and a half ago, you know!" Her brain finally began working, and she remembered that last night, Rude had asked her to marry him, and she had accepted. "Is this Reno?" she said hoarsely. Her throat did not seem to be working properly. "Guilty as charged," Reno told her cheerfully. "You guys worked everything out? Are you gonna move out to Corel? Would be nice for Mari to see her dad more often." "I - I don't know," she said hesitantly, rubbing her eyes and reaching down to untangle her foot from the sheets. "Sorry, I just woke up." "Aha!" Reno said a bit triumphantly. "Caught you in the act!" One of the things she hated about talking to Reno was that his train of thought moved so quickly that it was impossible for her to follow. "Reno," she said, "I have no idea what you're talking about. If it's about Rude, he left for Wutai really early this morning. He didn't spend the night." He sounded disappointed. "Oh. I see." She had to laugh at that. "Sorry. You should know by now I'm a sad excuse for gossip." "No way!" He sounded so genuinely excited that she began to be alarmed. "You're the hottest gossip there is. Everyone already knows! Cid says he's got a deal on some chocobos for your wedding present." "How are you doing?" she said, anxious to get the spotlight off of her and onto some more neutral topic. Chocobos? Reno snorted. "The usual. Broke up with the girlfriend last week. It was never gonna work, anyway. They're sending her back up to the frozen wastelands for the new northern branch." The rapid changes of subject were giving her a headache. "I need to go to work," she said. "Thanks for phoning, Reno." "No problem, babe. Gimme a call any time! Rude should be back from Nibelheim in a few days." "Nibelheim?" she said sharply. There was a pause. "Nibelheim? I meant Wutai." Another pause, and then he said hurriedly, "Anyway, later." The line went dead. She held the phone in her hand, staring at it intently until the screen went blank. "Nibelheim, huh?" she said softly, The dream sprang into her mind vividly once more - the burning village, Sephiroth's wild, mad Mako eyes. Zack had not been in the dream, and neither had Cloud. It was just her and Sephiroth, her holding the buster sword, her screaming at him, What about my family? My hometown? My pain? Does it mean nothing at all? She finally flipped the phone shut and went to take a shower, opened the ground floor windows and let the breeze move through the house. "Marlene?" she called. She looked out the window. The girl's bike was in the driveway, but Denzel's was still gone. "Tifa?" Marlene was eating breakfast, a plate of sausages and eggs in her hand as she emerged into the kitchen doorway. "I'm surprised you're up," Tifa said, smiling and kissing her good morning on the forehead. "Did you get in late?" The girl gave her a tired smile. "I did, but there's a delivery due in an hour, and I wanted to get an early start." "Don't run yourself into the ground," Tifa said, moving to get the milk out of the refrigerator. "I promised your dad I'd take good care of you." "I could say the same of you," Marlene returned. Tifa's hand stilled on the milk carton and she turned, closed the refrigerator door. "Marlene, Rude and I are getting married." She wasn't sure what reaction she expected, but instead, Marlene simply smiled and said, "I wondered what was taking so long." Tifa gaped at her. "What?" "Honestly," Marlene said, "I admire your devotion to Cloud, but he wouldn't have wanted you to mope around as long as you've been doing. Papa always said that both the greatest strength and flaw you had was your loyalty. Rude's a nice guy. He's been good for you. I hope he'll continue to be." Tifa turned around to lean on the countertop. "I just didn't want to leave you and Denzel alone." "We'll make it," Marlene said calmly. "We're big kids. Don't worry, the delivery service is in good hands." She paused, and said a bit hesitantly, "We'll make Cloud proud of us." "You're all automatically assuming I'll be moving to Corel," Tifa said, and Marlene shrugged. "It's natural, isn't it? I really don't think Rude would want to leave you here." It was a bit unnerving to see how the girl was taking all this in stride. Another memory surfaced, this one of child Marlene in Aeris' church, standing her ground and refusing to leave until Cloud came home. But it was no use arguing. All her friends, even Marlene, seemed to have her life figured out for her, and perhaps it didn't count that things were even more confusing to her now than they had been during the pursuit of Sephiroth fifteen years ago. She'd been so young then, and all she'd wanted was to be near Cloud and the memory of that childhood promise he'd made her. She still wanted to be near Cloud, but that promise had vanished into the smoking ruins of Nibelheim. "I'm going to go get the mail," she said, deciding that she wasn't hungry after all. "Drive safely, Mari." |